Hoodboogas and Seafood, Hennessy and Muffins. Oh, and Church Antics,

This weekend was interesting to say the least. It was the first time I've ever been around so many low-class people. Yup... I said that. And I mean it.

Like I told ya'll during the last post, Sissy Dear and our friend from church went up to Rhode Island for a seafood fest, then to Mohegan Sun afterwards. The trip itself was ok, but the hoodboogas on there were NOT. I wasn't expecting hoodboogas as this trip was put together by one of Sissy Dear's co-workers, but now I question the types of people that she works with. I feel scared for the poor gal. I pray she finds another job posthaste!

And so...

We get there at 8 am, expecting breakfast as these people advertised. Now, something told me to run to the Asian Bodega (lol) across the street for some Pringles because whenever the 'folk tell you you're going to get breakfast on a trip, its usually some kind of fuckery. And I am glad I did.

My intuition (aka God) don't make no mistakes.


First of all, when we got on the bus I didn't see or smell anything that looked like breakfast. All i saw was a big ass dingy white cooler. I'm wondering what the hell is in there. My guess was bagels and cream cheese, but my guess was waaay off.

About twenty minutes into the trip, these mafuckas come talkin' 'bout breakfast is served.

I'm all excited, thinking I'm about to eat a bagel, something I have no business eating.

I can almost taste the cream cheese and feel it latching on to the other million pounds of fat that is my stomach.

Then, BAM! Reality slapped me on both sides of my face and then headbutted me.

Scroll down, lemme show you what they busted out of that dingy ass white cooler for breakfast:

Have you had your break today?? Probably not.

All foods were served in:*



*Monie slams her imaginary door and closes all the blinds*

What in the ziplock continental breakfast???


But what I wanna know is WHEN did it become acceptable to drink Hennessy and eat muffins at 10:09 in the AM? And as we all know, it is NEVER ok to drink cheap ass 5 dollar Andre shitpagne(click that there).

You can't make no damn Mimosa with that off brand shit! Not that these hoodboogas were even making Mimosas. They were sipping the shit straight from their plastic cups and then topping it off with that Hennessy.

Needless to say that by the time we got to the Nordic Lodge, niggerocity was on full blast.

Scuse me one minute... I need to get comfortable for this shit right'chea.

*Monie un-buttons her skinny jeans, props her legs up on her imaginary coffee table, scratches her left titty, then lights a cigarette*

*exhale*

As one of them ugly Pretty Ricky boys would say in that Hotline song--

Pictcha dis:

(lmbao, what in blue hell is going on in this pic? that's another story, for another day)

I digress.


So about 100 of BK & BX's finest Niggeratti (yeah, oxymoronic, I know) come out to eat seafood and show the world their entire ass. There were about 5 normal people on this trip (me and my girls included).

I guess the sugar rush from the muffins and Hennessy finally hit folks, because it was just UN-COUTH! There was one table that was just LOUD as all get out, singing songs from the Color Purple. Folks cracking the crab legs and lobster shell with their TEETH! And the outfits... I can't even go there with ya'll today. I need to buy a digi-cam so I can share these things w/ ya'll. Yes, I know, I'm long overdue, but I'm not really into capturing the moment on film.

Anywho, after all that, we all pile back on the bus for Mohegan Sun. They get to serving more Hennessy and Andre shitpagne, watching movies and all that. I just turned up the volume extra loud on my Zen and prayed that my eardrums didn't bust out after the trip.

We get to Mohegan Sun, and it was alright. Nothing too exciting for me, probably cause I'm not really into gambling. I had the best time in Brookstone's testing out massagers :D

Also saw Drunken Munchkin's baby brother. Lol, small world, huh?

After we gambled out our little $10 (my sister won $20,lol) we just chilled, walked around, and took pics. Nothing exciting. We got back home to Long Island at about 1:30 am.

*blank stare*

As Forrest Gump says--

..."and that's all I got to say bout that"

Sunday I got up for church, which was quite interesting. My mother yelled at the organ player to shutup right there in the sanctuary. Very embarassing, but someone needed to tell his ass to stop. I don't remember if I ever wrote about the organ player from church.

Grab your Hennessy (lol);

time for a quick story

Ron's his name. He's "hip hop royalty" (Rakim's) older brother. Has/had a bit of a drug problem. Has about 8 teeth in his mouth, all are caked up with plaque.

(Hold your luch down)

Stays soliciting money from around the neighborhood. Our church pays him to play on Sundays. He doesn't know the words to ANY songs, and puts the following lines in everything he sings:

'mazin' grace, how sweet da sound! once was lost but nowww i'm found
*smacks away microphone with his mouth*

For two months straight during offering collection he put his own spin on that song that was the theme from Amen:

Turn on da light from heaven lawwd
Shinnnnnnne on meeeee
Turn on the light from heaven lawwd
Shine on me! Shine. it. on. me.
Talkin' bout da roaddddd, from heaven lawd
(repeat)

Every Sunday I swore I was gonna die from laughter, cracking up hiding behind the pew in front of me.

Clawdhammercy; they better not ask me to do his eulogy!

Needless to say, he's quite EXTRA, and an aggravation. I guess my mama couldn't take it no more ya'll. She's gangsta. Lol.

And that was this weekend's excitement. I should have more for ya'll this week.

Later Bubbies!!
♥ Monie