Bet ya’ll didn’t know that word was an acronym.
Monie, say what?
Hell fuckin’ yeah.
Look it:
*Monie hurriedly scribbles the the following word vertically on her imaginary chalkboard and uses the chalk to point out each letter to your attention*
H is for Hustling
O is for Others'
M is for Money
E is for Eating (and drinking too) and
L is for Living free off of
E veryones
S hit and finally
S for So the fuck what, bitch?
*Chalk snaps in half from all the hard pointing. Monie throws what’s remaining in her hand somewhere over her shoulder and barely misses Dinka cat’s head*
Good-bye T.O.N.Y., Hello H.O.M.E.L.E.S.S.!
Solange aint the only bitch that can make an acronym out this mafucka!
H.O.M.E.L.E.S.S - Got it, everybody?
Now for today’s diatribe.
*Cue in T.O.N.Y instrumental*
I don’t like homeless people. That’s right, I said it. I don’t.
I feel like 99% of them are living foul-like—begging for money under false pretenses of being hungry and having no money for the bus. Meanwhile, they got more money than me because during the 8 hours I’ve been busting my ass for about $35 dollars an hour (that gets tax-raped down to like $17) you, oh Homeless Wonder, have been sucking dick tax free for crack and Popeye’s Chicken.
(Click on these pics to enlarge-- they're a must see)
And if he (or she) is one of them new age Nomads like the ones that bless DC and NYC they fucks with nothing but Starbucks, Coca Cola, and Fiji water.
Monie, say what!?
Oh yes!! They are brand whores for real. I implore you to keep reading!
Well damn, bitch-- why are you so mad about it?
Really, it’s a combination of a whole lot of things, but I ain't got time for all that.
The main reason I’m so mad is because I KNOW for a fact (ok, maybe not a fact, but I have a strong ass feeling) that these ho’s are holding no less than $40 bucks after they done got through a day’s “work”.
Story time.
Yesterday, the 21st century nomad that posts up by my job asked me to spare some change. Now, I have watched old boy very closely since I’ve begun working at my job.
Every morning around 7:30 I see him sipping STARBUCKS coffee or Frappuccinos.
Every evening he’s across the street from Starbucks posted up in front of CVS panhandling for bus fare, snacks, and the cold drink of his choice. Make note that he only panhandles evenings.
What’s on his agenda in the mornings??
Mmmhmm.
Dick suckin’ and crack smokin’.
Swallow it, gargle it.
Sometimes I see this ho ass fucka on the bus. He rides it 3 whole stops and gets off. And! Wait for it….he wears an exceptionally clean pair of Jordans. Yes. JORDANS. I kid you not.
See, I’d respect ‘em more, and would probably even dip into my pocket *blankdamnstare* if these bastards told the truth or didn’t yell out demands to me.
So now that you have the background on this mafucka--- continue on.
Anywho, when he begged for my money I kindly told him that I debit everything and don’t carry cash. Which is true. Right now I exactly One Cent in my wallet, 2 void checks and $10 Jamaican dollars which is probably equivalent to…half a cent. Dead ass. After I said this to old boy, he yelled out something that left me fuckin’ flabbergasted.
Wooo chile, tell us what he said!
Sheeeiit…would I be me if I didn’t?
This muthafucka said,
“Well when you go inside bring me back out a Coca Cola!”
Say whaaaaa?!
*In my best Solange voice*
Homeless don’t beg no mo’/ They be makin’ requests oh noo
Yes, ladies! This fool didn’t even ask for something to drink, he demanded his choice of soda. Mind you, if I had, it would mean I’d have to walk in the opposite direction of where I’m going. He got a lot of nerve! I guess not having a home doesn’t stop a man from acting like a man, huh? *blank.damn.stare*
Just for kicks, I looked at the price of Coke and it was $1.79, which probably after tax brings it up to $2.00 and change. Part of me wanted to go back and elbow buss him in his dusty ass head. Because I can do a whole lot of shit with two dollars.
Let me break down the value of $2.00 in Monie’s world:
- That’s one day’s travel to and from work (or at least it was until Metro hiked fares yesterday—thanks ya bastards)
- A four piece chicken nuggets and fries at the Golden Arches—which Monie’s fat ass shouldn’t be eating, but still.
- One load of clothes washed (or dried) in the laundry room
- One can of frozen concentrated juice which I am forced to buy thanks to this severe case of broketivity I’m experiencing
- A box of Rice-a-roni. You know, The San Francisco Treat? Yeah, that shit
- A small Lucerne brand coffee creamer. I need this off brand shit for my coffee. So I can stay awake at work while I stay busy pretending to be busy
- Not just one, but two bags of sliced bread.
- 3 international text messages at.60 cents each.
.
Seriously, I could go on forever, but ya’ll get my point
“I coulda been alright by now if it wasn’t for H.O.M.E.L.E.S.S ”
*Monie blows bangs out of her eyes*
Later ya’ll. I know u loved these pics--- especially Khaki dearest :)
