More Groupie Sex Tales- Jim Jones

Dammit, man! Backstagepazz.com -- ya'll are making my summer out this bitch!


Soooo, I made up a new game, ya'll. It's called "What the Fuck". Very similar to my usual red light-green light, but its 2009 so I figure, hey, why not do some new shit.

Today we're talking about the penis of Joseph Guillermo Jones or as we all know him, JIM JONES .

Scuse me as I let out my niggadom ; you know, that hood side that all of us have-- white folks, ya'll ain't exempt!

*Monie pops open a bag of bodega potato chips (UTZ! ) and sets it beside her Tropical Fantasy- Colt 45 cocktail (lmao), and turns up the volume on her bootleg Dipset's Greatest Hits CD. *

Jim Jones, this basket of Chlamydia... ugh. Let's get started shall we?

*In my best Cam'ron voice*

KILLA!!

Jim Jones came to my city on a tour with another rapper. I went to the show with my sister and a couple of our friends. I was a lil intoxicated and ended up losing everybody I was with. On some ol' humbug type shit, I just really asked one of the security guards if I could go backstage....my outfit was pretty hot (lol). I was backstage just walking around and stumbled upon Jimmy and Freaky Zeaky, Jimmy asks me "what I was doing" so me I play the dumb role and was like " I lost my sister", you know the damsel in distress, lol.
He asked me to come and chill with them, I'm like "you sure?" He like "yeah", so I'm in there and next thing you know he pulls out some money and I must admit he was holding that night so I'm like "can I have some?" He like "what you gonna give me?" I'm like "whatever baby" so he cash's me out and we are fucking on a table, he just bent me over the table and hit it from the back for like 5 mins, and then put me on my back with one leg on his shoulder(while his dude is watching).

Everybody all together now: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Money for sex, what we call that, ya'll?

*Dumb mafucka in the crowd shouts out "Ballin!"*

Naw nigga, try again.

That's prostitution.

Who says the world ain't fair?

It is.

Look at that: a dirty ass nigga for a dirty ass bitch. She got bent over a table while his friend (probably Freeky Zeeky handicapped ass) was watching?? Lmao, all I can see is one of them fold-up lunch tables from back in middle school and someone bent over getting pounded out.

Nastiness.

Jimmy Jones, you dead wrong for that shit. And Imma set Handicaps Welfare Association on your ass.


Smh.

Carry on Groupie:

It was alright though....you will not believe this guy put his finger in my ass!!!!!!!! I wasn't feeling that at all but hey its his dime. I must admit he's a sweaty muthafucka and he was talking shit too like " you like this bitch" I must admit I kinda liked it...the talking not the sex cause my butt was sore for a couple days!!!! I thought that he gave me like $600.00 but it was more like five something, tell you the truth though...I would have let him get it for free,lol. If he wasn't sweating so much I think it would have been better. Sweaty Ass!!

WHAT. THE. FUCK!?

I say, one mo' gain: WHAT! THE! FUCK?!!?

*Monie pours her Tropical Fantasy-Malt Liquor cocktail on the ground. The rental white carpet in her apartment bursts into flames. Quickly, she sprinkles the Utz chips on the fire in hopes to out it, but the flames rise up higher than Sam Jackson on crack in Jungle Fever... is this the end??*

Nah.

For real though, I have some questions.

1- Somebody please tell me: what was "alright" about this entire situation? You get pounded out over a table for five minutes while someone sticks a finger in your ass for roughly $5-bills? Houston, we have a mafuckin problem. Where is the self love out here?

*Monie sadly watches the self love float off into oblivion*

2- I need these bitches to have higher standards for sex. Imma share some of mine:

I definitely need more than 5 minutes. 35 minutes, one or 2 hours with breaks in between, yeah. 5 minutes, fuck outta here.
You give me 5 minutes, I promise I'll shank you, tell all your friends (and my friends too) and then the rest of your life from there on out is fucked up.

Because I can't get back the Tang once I pour it out the pitcher; you will NOT be playing w/ my shit.

If he's sticking his finger in your asshole and "you ain't feeling that at all" tell him to stop. If someone is doing something to your body that you do not like/ particularly care for, tell that nigga to halt. Or do something that has always worked for me: punch him in the chest. Hard. Yup, punch that mafucka. And tell him to step off as you put on your clothes and walk up out of there/ demand he drives you back home.

3- Jim Jones is out of shape. Badly. He's pouring down excessive amounts of sweat after 5 minutes of fucking? I guess sticking your finger in someone's ass really works up a sweat, huh?

*shrug*


Yeah, no thanks... I'll pass. And if he wasn't sweating so much she thinks it could have been better? BITCH, HOW????

I am too through.

There needs to be a Dipset intervention out here...

and that's all, folks.

Groupie Sex Tale: MAVADO & the Two Hundred Dollar Ho

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Random Shit- the Reality TV edition

It's the 12th of the month, and dammit, we know what that means.
PMS!
Let the bitchery commence!

Isn't there a really uncanny resemblance between Miss New York and Lady Elaine Fairchild from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood?


They have similar bitch-like attitudes as well.
Wonder if the makeup has anything to do with it? Hmm..

This ho (New York, not Lady Elaine;-) has yet another show coming out... I won't be watching.


Where is that damn red trolley when you need it to come whisk someone's ass away?
I'm sooo over her. I wish Mr. Rogers were alive. So he could tell the trolley to take New York and Lady Elaine to the M.A.C. store :(

Day 26 - Random shit I've been wanting to say about them for a while now. I'm thinking seriously of twittering Diddy and putting in my complaints.

Mike- I love big Mike, but he got one more damn time to squeeze his big ass into a bubble vest. One more time!

And has the nerve to be wearing it with a tie?! Looking like a Berenstain Bear.

Awwww!! Kindness, Caring and Sharing.
I felt lightweight bad after reading that, but then I realized:

I am in fact doing most of the above.

I'm kind enough to share my opinion. I just don't have that caring part down yet, but by God's grace, I'mma git there!

- Isn't it hilarious how they always have to put captions on when Mike and Willie are speaking.

Especially Mike... cause everytime he opens his mouth I just hear Pootie Tang.

Sadatay!

Willie-
I don't know how I didn't include Willie in my line of men I'd smash if I could. He is single-handedly saving that damn Making the Band shitastrophe. Women (and some of ya'll men...mhmmm) are tuning in Thursday nights to see Willie's fine ass. He could've had one leg and a kickstand, I'd still beat!

Que

What in the Legend of Bagger Vance? What is this mafucka wearing?? This is an all the time thing for Que. He looks like a gerbil.

Old gerbil looks like he's doing his thing. Diddy might wanna call him up and replace Que. No one will be the wiser.


Robert- rides my nerves, but after this last episode, I've grown to love him. He spit the damn truth last Thursday night. I would have shown my left titty on the highway to see him throw that chair at Que and knock his little ass over.

Oooh! Is that a bangle on his wrist? Where is Miss Wendy when you need her? How you doin?!


Brian- is a bit annoying too.

Like someone sticking their dick in your ear. Don't trip, I'll talk about that another day, lol, I just don't have the energy tonight.

Anyway, I've never seen someone manage to look dingy even when they've been airbrushed. How does he do it? I like Brian though. He sings his little ass off.

Did I forget any of them? I feel like I should have included Dawn's ass. She's like the sixth member now. I mean, it could work.

Dawn has the balls to be down.

And the strap on.

Because we all know she bussin' Que's back wide open. Let me stop that. I like Dawn :)

Heheheheh... I need to behave myself. I'm going to bed. Easter service tommorow.
xoxomonie*

PSA- Stop Getting Married and Having Kids Just Because

Hey muffins out there in Blog land! I know I've been scarce; but my school work has been CRAZY. University of Maryland's online classes are NO joke. Bella, Bee-- love your blogs. Thanks for reading even when I'm playing hookey from my own blog :)

Bella, thank you for your award! I enjoy your blog so much. I live through just about all of you; and it's fantastical!


Soooo.....


Sometimes Facebook is a happy place. Other times-- the shit is a travesty. And I'm not talking about the new layouts (even though it's part of the reason I end up seeing these shitastrophes). I'm talking about the ugly mafuckas from high school...who have become even more uglier with time... that are getting married and having children.


*Slams hand on imaginary pulpit, and does a Baptist-preacher-esque spin*


While browsing through pics, I saw the ugliest little baby. Folks, you gotta be careful who you have sex with. A California Raisin just may tumble out of your vag in the next 9 months.

Baby looked just like that. I tell you no lies. And as I'm clicking through the pics I also see that someone I know is getting married to this girl who looks like a Yo Gabba Gabba. The green one.

Men-- long hair ain't everything. I swear some of ya'll will date the ugliest chick and think she's the flyest cause she has long hair.


Long hair,don't care I guess.

*shrugs*


So after seeing that shit, I had to write the following PSA:

Stop Getting Married and Having Kids Just Because

*Jay-z’s “Public Service Announcement playing on instrumental. Monie puffs on her imaginary Bidi and creates smoke rings*

So some of us are approaching our mid-late twenties. We all get that itch to want to get paired off, and partnered up for life.

[Yes, even me believe or not]

However, some folks are going about this in the wrong damn way.
Some of the hos (unisex) you are marrying look like a tsunamic shit storm. And then ya’ll add more shit to the storm in the form of these little mucktar looking mafuckas you call children.

I beg you: stop getting married because you feel like that’s what you’re supposed to do.

Stop making California Raisin looking babies for the sake of income tax checks.

Do Better.


Simone Dior...and I approve this message.


Ugh. Be easy, kiddies. Have a safe weekend. :)

xoxomonieoxox_

“You Dumb Fuck”—A Post Groupie Love Interjection

Mediatakeout.com left me shocked, appalled, and teeheehee’d out today!!

Who would have thought that the taxi driver in Coming to America would have been sooooo ahead of his time when he uttered:

YOU DUMB FUCK!

RED LIGHT


“Soo...i get to his room.. o keep in mind. i caught a cab and he said he was going to pay for it.. which he should .. it was about 40 dollars... this nigga wouldn’t even come out to bring the money, he was like come in and get it... i was like fuck it so i go up to get the money, he's all talkin about some "you dont need to pay him... he dont know where you at" im like noo thats wrong , so he goes thru his jeans and pulls out 35 crumbled up dollars ( wtf?!?!? R U BROKE ALREADY?!?!) STRIKE 1!!!”


*sigh* In the beginning of her email to MTO she states that Bobby V “wasn’t her type”, so I don’t know why she went to his hotel room in the first place. And if she’s a gold digger its time for her to toss her shovel ‘cause she’s going about her digging all wrong. Dumb Fuck should have been out the door at the first tell-tale sign of brokenness: crumpled up dollar bills.

#694: You can tell a lot about a man by how their money looks when they take it out their wallet/pocket.

..but moving along…

Green Light

“Sooo ne ways .first off he comes to the door in his size xxs boxers with some gay print on them....he's ashy from head to toe...we lay in his bed and he is all trying do stuff im like no ..i dont know you .. all types of shit to get him to not touch me..”


RED LIGHT!!

This was by far my favorite part. The visual person that I am, I pictured him just suffering from chronic C.D.R. ashiness (chalky, dry, and reptilian) standing in some boxers, meanwhile his hair was jherri curl wet, like it always is. Priorities all wrong. ALL WRONG!! Smfh…

Green Light

“Soo he's all up in my face with his morning breath n shit....yuck!!! .... so touch comes to rub i ended up wanting to test it out ...we gets it in ..this nigga is about 2.5'' long and 1 inch thick.. like a 9 year old asian boy...seriously...it felt like a tampon going in and out.. actually a tampon would have been more pleasing...

He isnt necessarily a minute man, but the ish was weak ..he didnt know what he was doing and in no way had a good stroke... he tried to switch it up but he just didnt do it right ...yuck!!! strike 2,3,4,5,6,7,-100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..”

RED LIGHT ON A LEFT HAND TURN TYPE RED LIGHT!!

Dumb Fuck touched it; hell, Dumb Fuck even rubbed it… after doing a Stevie Wonder analysis, she knew it was small…why would you let him “beat beat beat beat beat?” Where’s the self love? Why would you tolerate funky breath, CDR, brokenness, AND WACK AND DRY PENIS?!!

If she killed herself, I would so understand.

That’s why my #1 life rule is as follows:

DO NOT POUR “THE ‘TANG” OUT FOR JUST ANYONE, ESPECIALLY THE WACK AND DRY. You can’t pour it back in the pitcher once you’ve poured it down the drain.

Dick Delusions of Grandeur: Magnums-- Regular Ass Condoms In a Black Box

Brands... they mindf/ck you.
But that's the purpose of brands. I won't elaborate on this


(I've been writing a paper on brands all day, I'm not trying to go there again tonight, ok? Just trust me.)



Trojan Magnums



Larger than standard latex condoms for extra comfort
Tapered at the base for a secure fit


But how much larger are they?

Apparently, not much...


So, yeah fellas, some of ya'll been mindf/cked.

It has come to my attention that some of you little pee pee dudes are out here using Magnums.


*No, not the XLs (relax Branny).


Buying 'em by the box-full thinking you're wielding dick, when in fact, you're barely scratching the surface with penis.


(Yes, there's a difference. Feel free to email me. I have no problem explaining)


I've gotten more than my share of hearing from many a dude "I know my shit ain't small cause I use Magnums". And I'm tired. Next nigga that says that to me, I'm handing him a ruler.


Bitch, you know so damn much..what do you think should be done?



I propose a nationwide penis self measurement. Us girls have to check our breasts, you should have to do something too. Do something useful. Measure your dick and stop wasting Magnums. Leave them on the shelf for the men who do need the "special reservoir end for added safety" and "extra room". Do the world a favor. Buy some Lifestyles or something.





That's all. Be safe ya'll. Wrap it up.. in condoms that fit

You Don't Belong In the Club House/ The Warm Pussy Hypothesis

Ya'll like that title, huh? Hot mess. Burning, stankin' scorching fiery flaming HOT MESS.


So, the girls and I hit Guesthouse.

Same ole shit. Voddy and Cran, dance, dance, dance. Seen a few niggas from high school looking wack and dry. You know, the usual.

But after leaving the club.. even while inside the club... I started questioning the shit (no pun intended) that was attacking my senses; particularly smell and sight.

Like- - -

Son, who shat in your mouth?!!!

Two dudes came all up in my face; breath smelling like Dragon Breath Bilal and shit (ya'll remember House Party), abscess-mouth stankin' mafuckas. Ill.

It's not right, man.

Don't people brush their teeth before they hit the club?

Dental hygeine is so sexy. Get up on it.

Instead of all that irrelevant ass bullshit they try to sell in the club bathroom like gel and combs, they should start peddling toothbrushes and toothpaste.

And carry some gum/mints with you to the club, dammit. Pop them after each drink, because as we all know, sometimes alcohol can make your breath rather tart.

Personally I like the BreathSavers 3- hour mints. They're quite magical. Maybe their magical to me because I brush my fuckin teeth unlike those nasty niggas up at Guesthouse.

I'm not even gonna get into the females. Naw, I lie. I shall.

A lot of them was up in there doint it alll wrong.

Size 18 Backyardigan in orange spandex mini dress, no Spanx or girdle underneath, with the rolls smiling at the masses. Seriously, they were grinning. When you have belly rolls, (assuming you have 2 like she did) it resembles a tight lipped grin.

That night... them joints were grinning like a chesire cat.

I can't... I just can't...

big bitches aint wearing their girdles, and it aint right. A lot of gals call them "punishment" , but you should be punishing yourself. It was you (and I) who did not push back from the dinner table. So now we do what we gotta do to be cute. Well,I can't speak for all, but I do. I love my Spanx. They were worth all $74 dollars to me, dammit!

Cheap Boots-- what in the BOGO Payless?

In my opinion there is nothing worse than a cheap boot. They can be spotted a mile away. Even heterosexual men know what a cheap boot looks like. And they are looking. Men like sexy shoes, don't be fooled. You may not wanna take that advice from me, because as we all know I aint got no man, and I swear dudes hate me...but this much I know is true.

"Your pussy look like its mad warm, yo!"

So after Guesthouse, we head to the parking garage to get ole Lexy (K's Lexus truck) and head back home... where we run into some of the most obnoxious dudes that I have ever interacted with.

Where were they from?

Harlem USA, of course!

What did one of them say to K?

"Your pussy look like its mad warm, yo!"

then his friend chimes in:

"Yo, she got them Ciara legs. Do that Promise dance ma!"

I had to walk away.

How does someone look like they have a warm pussy?

I wanna know which reptile he's fucking, because I assume he's experienced cold pussy from his statement.

I'm gonna construct a Warm Pussy Hypothesis

look at how Grad school comes in handy!

( my Research teacher would be so pleased!)

Aight, here we go:

Research Statement: K is a mammal, thus she has a warm pussy.

Independent Variable: warm pussy
Dependent Variable: mammal
Population: K

Hypothesis: All female mammals have warm pussy (in light of the fact their body temp is 98.6 F)

Alt. Hypothesis: Being a mammal means you have a cold pussy

Null Hypothesis: Being a mammal has no effect on whether or not K's pussy is warm.


*raises hands to the sky*

Lord, deliver them. They know not what they say and do!


I have to move back to DC posthaste. Cause this shit right here... this shit right here nigga...nigga... UNCOUTH.

Gnight ya'll.

Diva-Shit, Old Niggas, Bad Fashion-yup, more randomness

victory is mine

i totally KILLED my presentation Friday, and got an added bonus-- another business opportunity. so now i'm officially a marketing consultant. i'm running my own show, and i'm loving it so far. let's hope it doesn't clash with school.


i don't care how great this all is though.. i'm still moving back to DC. i effin love that place, man! the only thing that will keep me here is a husband and/or a very high salary.

i'll probably get the latter first.


old niggas


old niggas trip me out sometimes. i don't really look at them until i have to. it's always because they've violated somehow.



i saw an old nigga rocking some brown leather pants. like this:





did leather pants come back in? see, i never want to assume that i'm in the know, because there's a possibility i'm not. there is a possibility that snug leather pants is in for old niggas.

i wonder if he had on briefs or boxers?

*shudders in disgust*


either way, i'm sure his balls were hotter than the corner of Hell and Equator.

Speaking of old niggas-- there's this man at my church. He's gotta be at least 70; whole head of hair is white as Wonderbread... ROCKING CORNROWS. His wife has her hair conrowed, as well as his two grandchildren. I often catch myself staring at the whole family during service. I know it's wrong, but pray for me.

Please be patient with me, God is not through with me yet.

Say No to Spandex/Leggings/Stirrups-- I Rebuke You-- A Supplementary Guide

Is it just me, or have some major violations-- just downright offensive shit-- is going on in regards to spandex? It's like everywhere I turn, there's some overbalocious (overbalocious= plump, pudgy, whalelike...fat ) chick straight f/cking up some spandex.



Note to the big gals... and i can say this , cause I've been big (size 18) and now I'm semi-big (size 12)... just because elastic is involved, does not mean its for you. Yes, I know its cheap, and you can get away with wearing black leggings/spandex/stirrups almost everywhere...but its the devil. Unless its a girdle, say nay.


That's it.

I know I've been inconsistant lately. school work and consulting work, and tutoring is eating up all my time. a chick be tired, shun!

til wheneverrr,

xoxomonie

dilemma- to spit or to swallow and Dear Dick, A Good Bye Letter to Oral

damn shun!


just read both syllabi for my classes this semester. yeah. I'm gonna need Jesus and a bottle of Don Julio. I'm gonna put myself on a strict schedule. I hate restriction..so we'll see how that goes . This means posts may become less. :( If I plan my days out right, maybe not. We shall see..



to spit or to swallow?




spit, m/fuckas, spit!!!! i think it was last week i was advocating oral sex... i take that back.





apparently, throat cancer is linked to oral sex. go'n and read that there.



this came up during convo yesterday and i read it and confirmed it today. so, cease all dick sucking practices posthaste...or atleast stop swallowing. i would hate for one of my readers to get throat cancer all because i told them to get on their knees like a top notch ho. and if you do happen to have throat cancer from sucking dick..i'm terribly sorry.



damn... even though its been a long while... my throat been feeling kinda funny lately.

nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(as you will come to know, i am a hypochondriac)





dammit man, there goes my Head Game Ridiculous (HGR) skills. and i must admit, i was quite nice. i was like, the Iverson of Head.

Bwahahaa

imma have to write a goodbye letter to dick sucking---



*caution-- may be quite graphic..wait. isn't almost everything on this blog?

*shrugs shoulders*

Dear Dick,

We've had quite the love-hate relationship you
and me. Right now, I'm at a point in my life where I shut you out because your owners caused too much f/cking drama. I always had hopes and dreams of coming back to you, and I will... however, we probably won't "kiss the way we used to" for a very long time. Even though I don't take the gulp for just anyone, I don't want to take a chance. I don't want HPV 16 and 18 in my pharynx/larynx or anywhere else in my body for
that matter. It's aint worth it.

I will miss showcasing and bragging on my skills. Because, damn was I great at it. We all knew it (those of you who were privy to the HGR know of what I speak). And it sucks (no pun
intended) even more now because my gag reflex is gone. The other night I was able to stick my finger down my throat without vomitting or gagging. And I popped the collar on my pajamas because I knew I was getting ready to shut the game down for my future, but alas. No more.

So, I'm giving up the crown to the next nasty bitch out there who has her Gardasil shots. Because I still have to get mine.

Wiping tears, pouring out a lil liquor..






I'm f/ckin distraught now. I gotta call P or go to bed or something. Dammit.

Bitch, Get Yo Toenails Fixed and The FunkNasty Mc Fish

Bitch, Get Yo Toenails Fixed-- a Horror Story

(linguistically, this post is going to be a bit hood... certain situations call for heavy slang, yaheardme?!)

so, i went all the way to brooklyn on monday and got my feet did, and my eyebrows waxed, because they be having my shit properrr. even when i lived in MD/DC area, I'd fly home every other month and get my work done, so you know they gots to be official.

now this place is on some Home Depot shit for real. and it's so funny how they're so nonchalant about bussin' out such heavy artillery, like these aren't tools used for building a house. they do all kinds of stuff i've never seen before until i started going there, like using that drill they use on acrylics on people's toenails.

and the heavy-duty Shanehneh sander joint (I know ya'll remember that episode of Martin) on the bottoms of your feet.

I give them a nice, polite, "hells no" when they come trying to use that drill on my toesies, but I do take a nice little helping to the sander on my heels, especially during the winter time. And I'm always pleased by how soft they are.

So here's when things start getting triffling. This woman is on my right getting a pedicure and my sister is on my left getting her dogs done too. All of a sudden, I see one of the Asian Toe Masters (ATM)whip out the acrylic drill. I'm nosey, because I wanna see who really needs their toenails buzzed down with this damn acrylic drill. The woman puts her bear-claw-ass foot up...

and she has the nastiest, blackest, thickest, crustiest big-toe toenails I've ever seen in my life.

Scuzay-moi as I try to push the vomit in my throat back down and go off on a tangent:

I am so mad at that woman, not just for what happens next in this story, but for not buying some damn Lamisil. Clearly if your toenails are like that, its a damn problem. I could forgive some corns and calluses, even a bunion, but a rotten ass toenail... that you're letting get drilled down with an acrylic drill... sit the f/ck down! right now!!

I digress.

So there ATM is drilling it down like a mafuggin champ with the acrylic drill.

(My hats off to all my Asian folks working in nail shops. Ya'll are quite gangsta, and I respect you to the full. It couldn't be me... it could not be me!!)

Anyway, I look down and realize my suede black boots are between my pedicure station and CrustyBadToe over there on my left.

With all her toenail crumbs spattered on my boots.

I was a bit distraught to say the least. Here it was, snowing, nasty, and wet on the ground, so I couldn't have just bought some flip flops from the ATMs. I can't throw my boots away cause I paid a good amount of money for them. And I love those boots! So I did what I could, shook them out, and whispered my disgust to my sister sitting on my right side:

Me: Girrrrrlll, I know you saw them toenails.

SisterSister (laughing, eyes wide): You know I did. She needs to go to the doctor with that instead of letting them use that drill.

Me: I'm so mad right now. Her toenail crust is all over my boots, looking like some damn Frito lay crumbs.

SisterSister laughs: Arrgh!!

Me:I'm so pissed.

SisterSister: Oh shit, look, she's having them paint her toes red to cover it up.

Me: Dammit to hell.

Sexy pumps on/ Toenails red/Toenails are a catastrophe/Pump them full of lead- LL Cool J & Simone_Dior

(And that's still the weakest rhyme LL ever said out his mouth)

But, I wanted to pull a Quick in Harlem Nights when he shot Vera's toe off...

"I will blow that gnarled, crusty, m/f/cka off!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOJoz3wdTjU

and shoot her two big toes off and leave her with eight little piggies like Quick did Vera.

but anywho..

Fellas be careful. When the nail polish remover goes on, and the red toe nail polish comes off there might be some trife ass shit to be seen.

I'm yo baby yo baby yo baby yo baby

Smdh. Look at LL's braided bracelets though. Hip Hop been gay...

Don't Eat McDonalds

I know some of ya'll are gonna continue to suck it down, but if you do, stay away from the Mc Fish, or whatever that shit is called. Or don't eat it while riding in a car where there's no airflow.

Usually, I'm not one of those people who put food up to their noses and inhale deeply, because I find it quite rude. But something inside me told me to sniff that Mc Fish that day.

Yeah. McFish is quite funky. I totally get where the phrase "she smells like fish" comes from now.

So after I ate it..

bwahahahaaa!!!

Later Gators! Have a wonderfulfantasterificsunshiny day!!