man-made bitch, jump offs and the like...

i'm a man-made bitch


not me, but just try to stay with me here. hopefully someone will comment and help me make some sense out of this. so, last night i went out with k and her homegirl tee. on our way home from the club we're talking about men and sex. tee is a few years younger than us, and its clear from some of the things she says that her maturity level hasn't peaked. but then again, neither has mine, so who am i to say shit? anyway. k is in a bind because she wants to have relations with this kid josh as well as his friend yeyo, but she's worried about niggas giving her the reputation she had back in the day because they talk. k asks my advice and i tell her:



we're too old to be worrying about what niggas in the streets have to say, do what you know you're gonna do. which is have 'em both. but since tee's homegirl had
j and she said his penis is small, go for the other kid, yeyo. don't waste your good perm.

then tee chimes in with a speech that shut the windows, the blinds, the front door, and left me in Chickenhead Heaven standing in DARKNESS.



Glad all I had was a flute of Rosé because i remembered this here grandiloquence almost verbatim. it was that memorable.


Tee:
I'm a man-made bitch. I fucks whoever i want to, just like a nigga and at the end of the day, niggas respect me and love me for that shit. i been fucking since i was 12. i had my man S, my babydaddy who i'm still with to this day and this other dude that lived 4 blocks away, and whoever else i want. Everybody like to fuck, everybody pussy get wet. Tonight that nigga was like how he knew I was messing with ___ and ___ and ____ and ___
(i forget all their names, but there were atleast 4 of them)
but i told them its still all about nick. and at the end of the day they still love me, cause I'm a man-made bitch! And I'm gonna only be fucking nick because I don't like to use condoms. They burn. And I don't do the lambskin shit.


Pause for the cause. I wish someone were here to weigh in with me and help me pick it apart. No one ever leaves comments, but i know ya'll come through thanks to the feejit. Please. Weigh in!!



I mean, I understand what she's trying to say, however, I don't get where she got the term "man-made" from. First time I've ever heard of it. I don't care about how anyone is getting down, but I am concerned when they are not using condoms, yet doing this much f/cking. And I am shocked that a 22 year old mother feels that sex is safe if she doesn't get pregnant or sticks to the same person for a while.

Let me leave that alone. My mind needs to take a walk on that one.

so anyway, k ended up having relations with j last night, and she reported back that it was no bueno. she said he kissed really good, but tee was rushing her from across the room (these guys live at home w/ their mom in the basement, true long island style) because she had to be home in time for when her baby woke up. k said it really was small, and he was nice enough to warn her that he was gonna come quick. and he did.



i hope i don't come off self righteous when i say this... but at my age (26)... i feel like, jump-jumps should be held to higher standards. because in addition to this nigga coming at breakneck speed...he had the nerve to suggest my girl take him to dinner and he was not playing. Woolawd!!!!



Sometime this week I will be writing The Jump Jump Doctrine. I may even do it tonight.