A.D.I.D.A.S. - Giving trouble and Sexual Recaps

God is GOOD! I've finished those wretched papers. Now all I have is a final. There's a good chance I'll be doing it on the beach in Negril, but hey. You can't have it all, right?

Again, I want to thank you all that left me encouraging comments on my last post. I was feeling like a hot shitastrophic mess that day. I pretty much have my sleeping pattern in order again, so you probably won't read anything else that soft, pink, and desperate... until next month when I'm menstrual again. :-)

Other than that, everything is everything. I went to the Asian Toe Masters (ATMs) on Friday, and I am glad to report nobody's toe crumbs were splattered all over my little red flats or flip flops thank God.

A.D.I.D.A.S. - Giving Trouble-Sexual Recaps

So, sometimes when I'm feeling frisky I'll text my old bussdowns or hit 'em via facebook and flirt shamelessly with them. When your pussy gets no action, these are the types of things you resort to. Anywho...

I don't know why they fall for it everytime. They already know I'm not giving up the box, but they eat it up (no pun intended, lol) everytime.

Today I weighed in on Old Head and The Drunken Munchkin. I always like to even things out, hit up one in NY, and one in the DC area. One in Jamaica, one in Atlanta.

I like things balanced like that.

So anywho.

I hit up Old Head on the 'book. I call him Old Head 'cause he's like five years older than me, and still uses old school ass words like "twat" , "trap" , "cock", and "cutty".

I decided to mess with him since he changed his relationship from:

"It's Complicated" to "Single"

*word to the wise-- if you know your relationship is shaky, don't even advertise that joint on facebook. when Iam Anass shows up on my minifeed "Iam Anass is no longer in a relationship" I giggle, go over to your girlfriend's page who's page reads "It's complicated" and then gaffaw.

Sooo I decided to leave Old Head all types of flirtatious shit today.

It's not that I'm a homewrecker. It's more like getback. See, I used to tap that a while back until suddenly without notice he decided he wants to be in a relationship with this chick. According to him, he would have wanted to be with me, but she lived closer.

Lamest excuse I've ever heard.

Whatever.

But as always, I keep my game face on, and never let these hos/n---s know how it is I'm feeling, and keep shit pressing. Anyway, he throws a birthday party, and she's in the building. He goes to introduce us, and I hold out my hand to shake hers and the bitch turned around and walked off! Tres rude!!

See, I don't get some females. So what I used to smash that? You got him now, so there's no need for beef and bitch-like behavior towards me. This has happened to me more than 4 times that I can recall. None of these chicks should see me as a threat.

A girl should always want for her man to kick me to the side so he can be with her.

Because I have too much pride to allow him in back into my special place after that kind of nonsense.

And by my special place, I do not mean my heart.

I'm talking vagina, ya dig?

So ever since then, I don't respect her, and I make it a point to behave as inappropriately as I can towards Old Head.

Why? Cause I can. Besides, I'm completely harmless.

Then I text the Drunken Munchkin. We're talking about how we haven't seen each other in the gym lately. Well, actually I do see him. I just make it a point to not go over and say hi because I know he'll never stop talking. So I get up in his head and tell him I peeped him, but he didn't see me, and I might have to tap that again. Bwahahaa-- soo not true. So he texts back "you know I been trying to hit that again for the longest".

That'll never go down.

What can I say? I'm an entertainment whore. Plus its nice to know that there's always someone out there who wants to fuck you.

Even if you don't particularly want to fuck them.

So even though I'm hardcore celibate, sometimes I scroll through my phone to see who I'd tap one more time for old times sake.

There are only 2 of them, as I am picky, and my sex standards are higher than the Empire state. Plus, there aint all that many of them anyway. :-(

One is a definite no-no... and the other...oh snap... he's a definite no-no too!

Let's name them. I'll call one of them El Capricorn, since he's mixed with everything under the sun, and he is a Capricorn. The other one, let's christen him Thick-Brown-AMAZING.

This n--- El Capricorn be smashing out hos all the time, recapping it with me...plus he's married, one kid with his wife, and with another baby on the outside. He's my ace though; I just can't go there with him again.

I'm cautious about men whose sperm I know is in working order.

But aside from allllllladat, his dickgame was mindblowing. I smashed this in like 2003, ONE TIME and it's still that damn memorable.

Fellas, when you put it down, put it down PROPER. Because six years later, some old empty-pussy broad like myself might be recapping on the shit. LOLOL!

Sooo..

Thick-Brown-AMAZING... chiiiiile... I need a damn moment of silence for his dick.

*silence*

He's one of those men that...

*puffs imaginary clove, exhales*

swings his dick so damn good, you lightweight wanna share it with your bestest homegirl, just so she can have this experience of a lifetime as well. Thick-Brown-AMAZING is well-skilled in giving out multiple orgasms like its nothing, and has been blessed with the ability to knock the bottom out as well as rub the walls. Rare shit.

I never planned on hitting this (contrary to popular belief among frienemies) but when I did, it was quite a pleasant surprise. It was like seeing an Iberian Lynx. (Go'n and click that there, for those of you who don't know what an Iberian Lynx is)

He always made me feel like if I never had sex again, it just might be ok.

Perhaps this is why the 1 year and four month celibacy really isn't all that terrible??? Damn him, and his Iberian Lynx dick, damn him!!

Unfortunately, I can no longer depend upon neither El Capricorn or Thick-Brown-Amazing, as they are now responsible for navigating their respective wives/ g/fs vaginas---

(well, El Cap throws his dick everywhere, so not really him)

.... so I'll just tighten up the chastity belt and keep it moving with my memories.

Alright folks, enough dicktalk. I'm going to sleep. Got a meeting with school officials for one of my kiddies I tutor. Should be interesting.

xoxox-monie!