The Adventures of Paw Paw

If there's one person on this earth that I can count on to entertain my silliness... and take it there with me, it's Pop Pop. From day one, he's obliged my silly-side, and for that (and other reasons) I love him.

Because most people think my silliness borders on retardation, lol.


Sometimes while he's at work, and I'm doing school work we get on IM and start talking about one thing. Something typed, leads to a joke, and sometimes a damn screenplay. One day we were making fun of the VP of his job, poking fun at the fact that he's old (i know; we're dicks, sue us) , and how he should put him on the list for Old Country Buffet specials.

Look where this one retarded joke took us:

POPPOP (1:17:13 PM): eeeelllo
SimoneDior (1:18:19 PM): what it do?
SimoneDior (1:18:28 PM): you chillin and thangs?
POPPOP (1:19:11 PM): I wish. You know I never chill while I'm here
SimoneDior (1:19:25 PM): true
SimoneDior (1:19:40 PM): i told you to give vp them coupons..then you could chill
SimoneDior (1:19:43 PM): hehe
POPPOP (1:20:24 PM): I tried... but his old ass is out cause he ran over a stop sign in his Buick


SimoneDior (1:21:27 PM): "I like things that I can remember"
POPPOP (1:22:03 PM): LOL

POPPOP (1:22:36 PM): *slowly rolls over stop sign while nodding steadily to Lena Horne playing from his cassette player*
SimoneDior (1:22:42 PM): (lMFAO, not the cassette player!)

SimoneDior (1:23:13 PM): *feeling good; turns it up, and runs through a red light*
SimoneDior (1:23:34 PM): *leaves 3 car accident behind, as Lena sings the blues*
POPPOP (1:26:48 PM): LOL

SimoneDior (1:27:41 PM): (lol... i feel an airbag getting ready to pop out soon... he is doing the most in that Buick)
POPPOP (1:28:50 PM): *feels good cuase lena horne is a piece of tail that he can actually remember*
SimoneDior (1:29:00 PM): lmbao
SimoneDior (1:29:05 PM): "piece of tail"


SimoneDior (1:29:35 PM): *rubs his right hand over his crotch*
POPPOP (1:29:54 PM): lol
SimoneDior (1:29:56 PM): *no rise*
SimoneDior (1:30:10 PM): *shrugs and continues driving*
POPPOP (1:30:33 PM): *rubs right hand over crotch and thinks* "if only you'd wake up" *hangs head*
POPPOP (1:30:42 PM): lol
POPPOP (1:30:43 PM): (lol)
POPPOP (1:30:47 PM): (u stupid)
SimoneDior (1:31:17 PM): lmmfao


SimoneDior (1:31:34 PM): *shakes leg, car swerves*
SimoneDior (1:31:46 PM): Old Man cries: Wake up, dammit
SimoneDior (1:31:59 PM): *Lena wails in the background*
POPPOP (1:32:27 PM): lmao
SimoneDior (1:33:00 PM): uh oh..
SimoneDior (1:33:32 PM): *vigorous shaking and rubbing causes old man to swerve onto the sidewalk, knocking down 3 adults and a dog*
SimoneDior (1:34:06 PM): Old man shakily screams: Ahh-huhuhhh
POPPOP (1:34:22 PM): LOL

SimoneDior (1:34:34 PM): *Buick crashes through Macy*s display window*
SimoneDior (1:34:44 PM): *Penis is FINALLY hard*
SimoneDior (1:34:49 PM): *Lena continues to sing*
POPPOP (1:34:49 PM): LOL


SimoneDior (1:35:07 PM): Old Man: I always knew the old boy still had it
SimoneDior (1:35:13 PM): *Old man hangs head and passes out*

POPPOP (1:36:01 PM): *Old man puts the buick in reverse and looks left and then right* "where am I? I remember there being a Sears & Roebuck around here" *makes a right turn and proceeds to search for the Sears
SimoneDior (1:36:43 PM): LMMFAO
SimoneDior (1:36:55 PM): NOT Sears AND Roebuck!!!

SimoneDior (1:37:20 PM): *circles around the block 9 times*
POPPOP (1:37:26 PM): LOL
POPPOP (1:38:17 PM): *circles the block an additional time and scratches head* "where am I? I remember there being a Sears & Roebuck around here" "makes a right turn and proceeds to search for the Sears AGAIN!*


SimoneDior (1:38:45 PM): *circles block an additional 3 times*
SimoneDior (1:38:56 PM): *calls his grand daughter*
POPPOP (1:39:07 PM): LOL
SimoneDior (1:39:24 PM): *LOUDLY*
Jenny?!
POPPOP (1:39:31 PM): LOL
SimoneDior (1:39:40 PM): Jenny: Yes Paw Paw
SimoneDior (1:39:55 PM): Old Man: Wheres that Sears & Roebuck?
SimoneDior (1:40:00 PM): Jenny: Where??
POPPOP (1:40:13 PM): LOL
SimoneDior (1:40:17 PM): Paw Paw shouts: SEARS AND ROEBUCK DAMMIT, SEARS AND ROEBUCK!!!

POPPOP (1:40:48 PM): Jenny: Calm down paw paw. I don't know what that store is.
SimoneDior (1:40:59 PM): PawPaw: WHADYA MEAN???!
POPPOP (1:41:03 PM): Paw Paw: It's where I bought your first corset!!!
SimoneDior (1:41:07 PM): LMMFAO

SimoneDior (1:41:23 PM): Jenny: Corset?
POPPOP (1:41:31 PM): LOL
SimoneDior (1:41:55 PM): *Paw Paw angrily hangs up phone. *
POPPOP (1:42:03 PM): LOL
SimoneDior (1:42:13 PM): I'll teach you to play with me!
I'm gonna wear that hide when i get home
SimoneDior (1:42:32 PM): *Paw Paw shifts and eases his Depends wedgie from his butt*
POPPOP (1:43:45 PM): Narrator: Unbeknownst to Paw Paw, he has shifted his Depends a bit too far and proceeds to drive home shitting in his pants leg the entire way.
SimoneDior (1:43:58 PM): Lmmfao!! you gotta love the Narrator

POPPOP (1:45:02 PM): LOL... I know. He always sets shit straight
SimoneDior (1:45:11 PM): LITERALLY
SimoneDior (1:45:12 PM): lol
POPPOP (1:45:38 PM): LOL
SimoneDior (1:45:42 PM): *Paw Paw pulls into the driveway, turns car off, opens the door, and puts one leg out to stand*
SimoneDior (1:45:54 PM): *A sea of shit falls out his pant leg*
POPPOP (1:45:56 PM): LMAO

POPPOP (1:46:11 PM): I already KNEW where you were going with that one
SimoneDior (1:46:15 PM): Paw Paw: GABDAMMIT GABDAMMIT GABDAMMIT!!!
SimoneDior (1:46:17 PM): lmao
POPPOP (1:46:58 PM): lmao
SimoneDior (1:47:01 PM): *shouts for his wife*

SimoneDior (1:47:27 PM): PawPaw: ABIGAIL! I DONE MESSED UP MY PANTS AND THE BRAND NEW BUICK!
SimoneDior (1:47:41 PM): *Abigail runs to the porch*
SimoneDior (1:48:04 PM): Abigail: GABDAMMIT GABDAMMIT GABDAMMIT!!!!!!!!! WHO'S GONNA CLEAN UP THIS SHIT!
POPPOP (1:48:13 PM): LMAO @ Abigail

SimoneDior (1:48:19 PM): Not me! Maude and I are going to Old Country Buffet
SimoneDior (1:48:35 PM): Paw Paw: OLD COUNTRY BUFFET???? WITH WHAT MONEY??
SimoneDior (1:48:52 PM): Abigail: my social security like its any of your business
SimoneDior (1:49:06 PM): PawPaw: but you said we'd use that to get a new antennae for the tv
POPPOP (1:49:14 PM): LOL

SimoneDior (1:49:28 PM): Abigail: old slew footed man! Aint you heard. The whole nations gone digital!

SimoneDior (1:50:31 PM): Abigail: I guess I'm gonna have to ask Maude for a ride. You shat in the new Buick!
POPPOP (1:50:32 PM): Paw Paw: Digital? There you go again with your confounded nick nacks and doo dads. Go turn on the HAM radio so I can listen to the lone ranger.
SimoneDior (1:50:42 PM): LMMFAO
SimoneDior (1:50:43 PM): LMMFAO
SimoneDior (1:50:44 PM): LMMFAO
SimoneDior (1:50:55 PM): LMAO@ DOO DADS
SimoneDior (1:51:00 PM): AND LONE RANGER
SimoneDior (1:51:21 PM): *Abigail holds her nose and steps past him*: Lone Ranger don't come on no more
SimoneDior (1:51:27 PM): *mutters*
SimoneDior (1:51:29 PM): Dumb ass
POPPOP (1:51:41 PM): LOL
SimoneDior (1:51:43 PM): Paw Paw: I HEARD THAT! I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID BOUT WHAT YOU THINK!
POPPOP (1:51:50 PM): LOL


POPPOP (1:52:17 PM): Paw Paw: Huh? What?
SimoneDior (1:52:25 PM): Paw Paw: I'mma teach you a lesson. Im gon, I'm gon..
POPPOP (1:52:30 PM): Abigail: I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING!!!
SimoneDior (1:52:40 PM): Paw Paw: Aww yes you did!
POPPOP (1:52:40 PM): Paw Paw: WHERE'S MY CORN BEEF?!?!
SimoneDior (1:52:46 PM): lmbao

POPPOP (1:52:50 PM): Abigail: What?
SimoneDior (1:52:52 PM): not corned beef, lmbao!

SimoneDior (1:53:10 PM): Paw Paw: if I could bend down I'd throw this shit on the back of your dress!
SimoneDior (1:53:16 PM): I SAY WHERES MY CORN BEEF?
SimoneDior (1:53:18 PM): BITCH!
POPPOP (1:53:36 PM): LOL
POPPOP (1:53:37 PM): LOL

POPPOP (1:53:56 PM): I'm trying SOOOOOO HARD not to bust out laffing right now
SimoneDior (1:54:46 PM): shhhhhhhhhhhh!!
SimoneDior (1:54:47 PM): lol
SimoneDior (1:55:29 PM): Abigail: who you callin a bitch?? U.N.I.T.Y...
SimoneDior (1:55:31 PM): lol
POPPOP (1:55:40 PM): LMAO
POPPOP (1:56:03 PM): Paw Paw: U-N-I-T.... U.... Unicorn????
SimoneDior (1:56:07 PM): lmfao

SimoneDior (1:56:17 PM): Abigail: Unicorn? You fool!
SimoneDior (1:56:39 PM): Abigail: U-N-I-T-Y spells uniform!
SimoneDor (1:56:42 PM): dumb ass!
SimoneDior (1:56:52 PM): Paw Paw: I aint gon be too many more dumb asses
SimoneDior (1:57:11 PM): Say it again.. and I'mma withhold mah johnson!
POPPOP (1:57:32 PM): LOL
POPPOP (1:57:46 PM): LMAO @ spells uniform
POPPOP (1:57:54 PM): LMMFAO @ mah johnson
SimoneDior (1:58:11 PM): lmao
POPPOP (1:58:20 PM): Abigail: Your johnson? I don't even remember what your johnson SMELLS like
SimoneDior (1:58:25 PM): lmao

SimoneDior (1:58:39 PM): Paw Paw: You wasn't saying that last night!!
SimoneDior (1:58:48 PM): Abigail: wasn't saying it last year neither..
POPPOP (1:58:54 PM): LOL
SimoneDior (1:58:57 PM): lol
POPPOP (1:59:23 PM): Abigail: and for the record, last night you fell asleep in church and I left you there. You only THOUGHT you were at home.
SimoneDior (1:59:31 PM): (dizammmn!)
SimoneDior (1:59:32 PM): lmao
SimoneDior (1:59:54 PM): Paw Paw: NOW WHAT NOW?!
SimoneDior (1:59:59 PM): left me there?
SimoneDior (2:00:13 PM): You were probably off with George Lucas
SimoneDior (2:00:18 PM): giving him the poontang!
POPPOP (2:00:30 PM): LMAO
SimoneDior (2:00:33 PM): I aint forgot bout that time you cheated on me!
SimoneDior (2:00:38 PM): i ain't forgot
SimoneDior (2:00:39 PM): I ain't
SimoneDior (2:00:42 PM): uh..
SimoneDior (2:00:45 PM): what was I saying?
POPPOP (2:00:49 PM): LOL
SimoneDior (2:01:00 PM): Abigail: Lawd, keep me near the cross!
SimoneDior (2:01:24 PM): Abigail: move out of my way you shit tank! I gots to go!
POPPOP (2:01:44 PM): Abigail: I ain't forget about you either. Wagging your junk in front of Esther tryin to make it hard. You couldn't do nuthin anyway but it was THE PRINCIPLE.
SimoneDior (2:02:07 PM): lmmfao
SimoneDior (2:02:16 PM): (m in here DYING)
SimoneDior (2:02:54 PM): Paw Paw: She liked it though!
SimoneDior (2:03:03 PM): Abigail: Esther is blind, fool!
SimoneDior (2:03:15 PM): Paw Paw: SUMMA MA GUN!
POPPOP (2:03:16 PM): LMAO

SimoneDior (2:03:19 PM): lol
POPPOP (2:03:22 PM): (Now I'm in HERE dying)
SimoneDior (2:03:40 PM): i've GOTS to post this story in my blog one day
SimoneDior (2:03:43 PM): this is heedamnlarious
POPPOP (2:04:11 PM): yeah... I think it'll be hilarious
SimoneDior (2:04:16 PM): definitely
SimoneDior (2:04:41 PM): Paw Paw : So you really ain't gonna clean up mah shit?
SimoneDior (2:04:43 PM): lol
SimoneDior (2:04:47 PM): (sorry, i couldnt resist)

POPPOP (2:05:01 PM): LOL

SimoneDior (2:05:11 PM): lol
POPPOP (2:05:17 PM): Paw Paw: U... ur.... ur gonna clean mah shit!
SimoneDior (2:05:23 PM): LMMFAO

SimoneDior (2:05:36 PM): UR..UR GONNA CLEAN MY BUICK

LMMFAO, hot mess. Love you, Pop Pop. I'm still waiting on you to update your blog.. uh, yeah, thanks.

-Monie