I think I'm going through a point in my life where I'm just... I don't know. I feel unmotivated. And plain fuckin bored. There's so much I want to do that I'm not doing.
For instance, even with this blog. I've slacked off majorly, and I'm mad at myself for that. I wanted to turn this joint into a book by next year, but I dunno. Even now that I do have the time to write I haven't been. I want to publish one of my books or at least start a new one and complete it by next year, but I haven't gotten started.
I just feel stuck in a rut.
I blame the University of Maryland.
Since I've finished I'm just not motivated to write anything. I can't even stand opening a Microsoft Word document beccause I get flashbacks of 25 page papers.
It would be nice if I could have gone away for like 6 months after school finished.
Something's gotta give.
Even certain friendships. I haven't been keeping up with them, but that's mainly because folks got their own shit going on. So I've stayed to myself. Of course this poses a problem, because I'm always alone. I have no human stimulation outside of church on Sundays. My fiancee' doesn't live here , but we're always on the phone or Skype. Therefore, my phone bill is higher than Frankie and Lil Wayne put together.
My friends who do live in this city are always busy. My girls have all started families, and I haven't even seen Pop Pop since I moved down, which is shocking as hell. I guess he just outgrew me or something. *shrug*
Now I see why bitches' biological clocks be ticking. It is my theory that after a certain age people make babies because they get bored with life and want something to do. Dare I say it... having a baby doesn't sound like a bad idea to me these days.
Anywho, stay up ya'll.
I'll be back.
It would be nice if I could have gone away for like 6 months after school finished.
Something's gotta give.
Even certain friendships. I haven't been keeping up with them, but that's mainly because folks got their own shit going on. So I've stayed to myself. Of course this poses a problem, because I'm always alone. I have no human stimulation outside of church on Sundays. My fiancee' doesn't live here , but we're always on the phone or Skype. Therefore, my phone bill is higher than Frankie and Lil Wayne put together.
My friends who do live in this city are always busy. My girls have all started families, and I haven't even seen Pop Pop since I moved down, which is shocking as hell. I guess he just outgrew me or something. *shrug*
Now I see why bitches' biological clocks be ticking. It is my theory that after a certain age people make babies because they get bored with life and want something to do. Dare I say it... having a baby doesn't sound like a bad idea to me these days.
Anywho, stay up ya'll.
I'll be back.
I know how you feel, it's just a phase though...you'll get through it!
ReplyDeletei think this is a phase everyone goes thru at some point in their life...last yr, i went thru the same thing. but i was determined to claim victory in my life...i spoke my success and strength into existence.
ReplyDeletetry it, it works :)
YOU HAVE TO HANG IN THERE AND LET THIS TIME BE WHAT IT IS...
ReplyDeletegoing through a phase.
ReplyDeleteyouve abandoned me blog mother *bbm angry face*
Your amazing! What an awesome blog! Come an visit me at www.HalleAnderson.com
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting that you said that people have babies cuz they are bored and feel that they need to have a purpose in life! I think that is so true with some. Every so often I have that fleeting thought. I think I had it the other day as a matter of fact. But then I think will that truly solve or fix any empty feelings that I have? I will probably just make an excuse for not developing myself BECAUSE I have a kid - just a way to shift the blame from whatever I'm not doing to stay on the grind.
ReplyDeleteWhen I finished school I went thru this 'lost' period, especially because I had no job lined up. I was so distraught, and then I messed around and got pregnant! But I didn't have it though. I just didn't have it together. So I volunteered and did some other things to 'fill' my time. I'm alone A LOT too but that's not always a bad thing! Anyway, you'll be okay. I go to meetups.com stuff a lot to meet folks. It's actually not that bad...
That baby feeling comes and goes through us all. On one hand I want more, on the other I happily content with the one I have.
ReplyDeleteOooh baby! You are right on the mark on this one. About the babies, about boredom, and about being stuck in a rut. I feel your pain. Hang tough and don't let the day to day suck you into uselessness. You seem to fabulous for that.
ReplyDeleteDamn, you hit the nail on the head. I feel you with the you want to write but it reminds you of school syndrome. About the babies . . .is it just me or is everyone popping up with a baby (or marriage) all of a sudden. I mean good for them, but I'm starting to wonder if there was a proclamation after graduation that said . . ."GET TO IT ALREADY"?
ReplyDelete